Fantasy... and a bit more

Warren: Fantasy, it’s this magical realm where, if you can dream it, you can realize it. Be honest, we all day dream into our own little world, which is the concept of the world we want it to be. Two great examples of that are video games and books. The most popular book example is say, something like the Harry Potter (™) books. The most popular video game example that comes to mind is Minecraft (™). While it may seem a simple concept, build, survive, or just live a peaceful life; It’s actually a very complex game. It captures the essence of fantasy perfectly. Fantasy, on the surface, is a simple concept, a simple plot. But, it can actually be woven into many different paths. Because fantasy is just that, made up. You may think something like Minecraft (™) or the Lego(™) games is a game for young audiences, and generally, yeah, it is. But, there’s many passionate people that play Minecraft (™) that fits each age demographic. Some of us have literally been playing Minecraft (™) for years upon years. That it still manages to impress us and surprise us is simply amazing. Fantasy is just that, endless fun, endless possibilities. While I play other games, I find myself almost always coming back to Minecraft (™) at some point. Minecraft (™) came out in 2009, when I was 3 years old. As I got older and started hearing about Minecraft (™), I was intrigued. So, around 2011/2012, I was finally able to get my hands on Minecraft (™) and I immediately fell in love with it. The idea that I could build whatever I wanted was amazing to me. You could even build a tower to the sky limit. Leah: Wait, seriously? Is this whole blog post going to be about Minecraft (™)? Warren: Well, Minecraft (™) is technically fantasy and this is OUR blog and I want to talk about fantasy. It’s OUR blog and we can do whatever we want and no one can stop us. So, if I want to talk about Minecraft (™), I’m going to talk about Minecraft (™), because this is OUR blog and no one can stop us. Leah: *Rolls my eyes* Warren: So, as I was saying, the most satisfying part after building to the sky limit is knocking your tower down and falling to the ground (you wouldn’t die if you were in creative mode). If you wanted to build a tower in survival mode and then fall off of it, build near water and land in the water. Leah: I’m not so sure that people care about the intricacies of how to play Minecraft (™), for reals. Warren: Why are you going to get after me if you couldn’t even spell “intricacies” right the first time, or even just then when you typed it for me!? Leah: You haven’t a clue how to spell the bulk of the big words that you throw out there! I’m the one typing it all as you SAY it, and I know how to spell most of all those big words you throw out there. So, THERE! BAM! Warren: Well, no one is perfect. Besides, ever since Kindergarten and First Grade, spelling tests aren’t required anymore. So how would I know how to spell it if they’re not teaching me it. Like, why would they even get rid of it anyway, because we needed that. I don’t want to be stranded out there on my own, throwing out big words, then not even knowing how to spell the big word I just threw out to back up my point. Are you happy this isn’t about Minecraft (™) anymore!? Leah: First off, I’m pretty sure you had spelling tests up until 3rd or 4th Grade. After all, I was the one helping you study for them. Secondly, yes, I’m glad that we could digress so far off track to get beyond talking about THAT game… whose name shall not be mentioned. Warren: What do you mean? Mine.. Leah: Nope, not going back there again. Warren: Is there a fantasy realm where I can spell? Leah: I’m sure it exists somewhere. Like in the not so fantasy world of predictive text. Warren: That’s why I always use predictive text. Leah: Well, call me “old school” but, I like to know that I know how to spell the words. Predictive text is nice and all, but, just saying. Warren: You will never be “old school”, Mom. Leah: Thanks…Coming from the same child who constantly berates me and says, “Mom! Why don’t you know anything about technology!?” “Mom! Why don’t you know anything about trends!?” Warren: Do I do that? You must be wrong, you must be mistaken. Leah: *Rolls my eyes*

My New Buddy, Rico

Warren: I got a kitten. Despite the fact that he claws and bites all over you, he’s actually pretty fun. His name is Rico, Rico Suave. He gets along with Henny (Henry), our dog, very nicely. Henry loves having a kitty. It’s really cute, because at first, Rico was unsure and Henny was all over him. But now, Rico actively searches for Henny. When Henny doesn’t want to eat, Rico sneakily tries to eat his food. We have to try and catch Rico before he eats Henny’s food. But, Rico is still a baby, so we have to go easy on him. Henny is respectful when Rico is eating his own food, he just sits and watches Rico eat his food. Rico often jumps up onto my tray and tries to scratch and claw me. Other times, he jumps up onto my tray and right into my arms. He purrs away while I cuddle him. He likes to be swaddled like an actual baby. So, basically, when Rico’s tired and you hit his sweet spot, he’s like an angel. When he’s awake and hyper, he’s a cheeky little devil. All in all, Rico’s a good kitten. He’s just curious and has to do regular “kitten stuff”. Don’t get me wrong, I love Henny and he is Rico’s big brother, but, Rico is substantially different from Henny. Rico actively seeks me out and we quite possibly think that he loves me over everybody else. He plays with me more than anybody in the house. He just sits with me and purrs while I’m relaxing and watching YouTube or basically whatever. Rico seems to be with me about 97% of the time. July 20th is the birthday I gave Rico, because that’s the day we got him. Rico is fun to watch when he plays. He’ll “trick” his toy mouse by walking away to make it seem like he’s leaving, then pounce on it a couple seconds later. Long story short, Rico is my little buddy and I can’t wait to be there to watch my little buddy grow up with me. Leah: The joy that pets bring to your life is amazing. They become valuable members of your family. At times, just like any family member can, they drive me absolutely crazy as well. Mostly, they bring joy, love and comedic relief. I love to watch the way Henry and Rico interact with Warren. Henry, from the day we went to meet him before we adopted him, stole my heart. Trev had Henry on the leash, while I pushed Warren in his adaptive stroller. Trev and Henry had got a good way ahead of us, Henry stopped, turned around to look for Warren and I, and wouldn’t move again until we had caught up to them. We already knew we were going to adopt Henry. But, that was the moment I knew without a doubt that he was the dog for us. It took Henry a little while to get used to Warren’s power chair. He doesn’t mind it at all now. Henry loves it even more when Warren is out of his power chair and sitting on the couch or in his bed so he can snuggle with him. Rico, he used Warren’s power chair as a jungle gym on his first day here. Rico had no qualms whatsoever, jumping up on Warren’s tray and just getting up in his face, playing with him and loving on him. Warren always wants nothing more than for people to treat him equally and to see him for who he is. For people to look beyond the power chair he’s sitting in for his mobility and see the kid actually sitting there. That’s the beauty of pets, they don’t they don’t discriminate, they aren’t biased. They will cuddle you, play with you, seek (demand) your love and attention, no matter what. Henry and Rico see Warren for Warren. Their human brother that wants to be cuddled, loved on, played with… and their main source for food dropped during meals.

Inspiration

Warren: Okay, here we go. So, CP… is, well, let’s say it’s complicated. You might be wondering, what does CP stand for, it means cerebral palsy. Basically, CP comes in many different forms. You have the serious form, the moderate form (which I have), and you have the mild form. But, these forms all vary and look very different. I was “lucky” enough to be diagnosed with a very moderate form. I AM lucky enough to even speak and to even be alive. But, even with CP, I still manage to live my life the way I want to. I am in the gifted ELA class, I just finished 6th grade, I have friends and family to support me. I’m on the honor roll. I outsmarted any kids who picked on me this past school year. I raise my hand in almost every class. I answered almost every question with confidence. I liked every teacher I had. So, yeah, CP has its ups and downs. But, if any one of the 17 million people out there with CP are reading this, WE CAN DO IT!!! No matter how many times the haters push us down, we will get back up. Everyone is good at something, whether it’s physically or academically. You will succeed! Don’t let anyone tell you, “you can’t” or “you won’t”. Just because you have to try harder, doesn’t make it impossible. You just have to show the world. I know it can be hard, I know it can be tough, but, you will do it. It’s going to be a long, bumpy road. But, nothing is handed to you, you have to work hard, day in and day out. I know I may sound like a cliche inspirational movie, but it’s true. Anyone can be anything as long as you put the work in. It’s not about respect or recognition, it’s about pride. Pride in knowing you did something important. Pride in knowing that you accomplished your goals. People aren’t going to notice straight away, but they will notice eventually. You have pride in knowing that you took the world head on and left your mark. CP isn’t a hindrance, it’s a way to get you to work harder, it’s a way to get you to dream bigger. Most importantly, don’t forget the people that helped get you there. Also, try to remember this, you don’t have to remember my name, just remember this: YOU CAN DO ANYTHING… it’s just going to be a little harder. Mom, do you have anything to say about this? Leah: You know, Warren, this is the reason that I watch (and make you watch) every inspirational, encouraging, success story video of people with special needs that I come across. I can’t get enough of watching videos like that. Nothing brings me greater joy than seeing people overcoming adversity and being determined to do more, be more. This is the message I preach to you, always, but I love to be able to show you other people with special needs out there succeeding. I feel as though exposure and awareness is key. It’s impossible for any person who has no exposure and no awareness to even begin to understand people with special needs. It’s impossible for them to understand that people with special needs have hopes, dreams, and goals the same as everyone else. People tend to fear what they don’t understand. The more success stories I see of people with special needs, the more I feel like we’re getting the word out there. It’s high time to break down the barriers, dispel the misconceptions and stigmas. The world needs to know that people with special needs, are just PEOPLE with special needs, and they matter. Warren, I know you are going to go far in this life, you are destined for great things. I just hope that you also become the advocate, the voice, the motivational speaker I know you can be. But sure, I guess we’re making a start with that here.

Warren to the Rescue

Warren: Okay, so like Mom probably said in our last blog, I’m going to be doing the talking this blog post. So, here we go! Have you ever just felt like you’re laying in your bed or something and all of a sudden, you just can’t breathe, you’re hyperventilating and you get a weird feeling throughout your body? Well, that’s what I felt last night. I’m going to be honest, and this is a bit embarrassing, but, I thought I was going to die. So, I called Mom into my room and she helped me calm down. But, I’m going to be honest, I couldn’t even feel a muscle in my behind. All I felt was this like this twitching in that particular muscle. I don’t know why, but it did happen. But, what I do know is, my counselor once said, “Your body has this fight or flight reaction, because it doesn’t know what is going on.” Basically, it means your body is on high alert. But, 99.9% of the time, it’s absolutely nothing. My counselor also taught me about the amygdala in the brain. The amygdala is the thing that triggers the panic, triggers your fight or flight reaction. Basically, the amygdala is that annoying little brother or sister that won’t be quiet for even 2 seconds to really just assess the situation. Boy, once your amygdala gets going it’s hard to stop it. But, by doing deep breathing and telling yourself what you’re grateful for, that eventually tells the amygdala, and the rest of your brain, that you don’t care and it was probably nothing. By knowing that you’re safe, you can happily go to sleep or continue what you were doing. So, long story short, anxiety sucks! But, the reason why I am happy to write these blogs with my Mom is so we hopefully connect with someone out there and help them understand some things in this crazy, wacky world. Now, don’t get me wrong, it won’t tell you everything, but, it will give you a nice head start.

Perception

Leah: Recently, Warren’s counselor made a comment to me, that has me questioning my self awareness. Usually, my anxiety and insecurities compel me to question how I am perceived by other people. I often wonder how total strangers perceive me after an innocuous interaction at the grocery store...still, days after the interaction. I’m always certain that I exude that, “hot mess” sort of vibe. I’m sure that people can sense my awkwardness from a mile away. I’m positive that people can detect my anxiety and uncertainty while trying to form any type of response to a vague, benign conversation. Not to mention how off putting I can be with my total lack of a filter as to what comes out of my mouth. These are the ways I have always perceived myself. So, just a bit of a back story, I started taking Warren to counseling a year ago. He was having trouble with his own anxiety from trying to deal with where he fit in this world as a kid with a disability. On top of the range of emotions and uncertainty kids go through at this stage in life. I assured Warren that he could always talk to me about anything that was going on with him. I just felt he could benefit from counseling and being given a professional, unbiased perspective on things. The counselor Warren had was absolutely amazing. Warren didn’t view it as a chore to go because he and his counselor had fun. I found the man to be funny, intelligent and very relatable. I was always candid and open with him about Warren’s anxiety being in his DNA, because I suffered greatly from it. Anyway, this last counseling session, Warren decided that he was doing well, feeling good, had pretty good control over his anxiety, and he didn’t need counseling anymore. I agreed that he had, in fact, been doing better and ultimately it was Warren’s decision. Well, we didn’t know, going into the appointment, that it would be our last appointment. So, at the end of the session, it turns into our goodbyes, essentially. The counselor is jokingly pointing out (for the umpteenth time) my inability to go to the library. (Seriously, new situations, where I don’t know the lay of the land or how things work, unless I absolutely HAVE to, I totally won’t do it. The library is one of those many places, for me.) I say, to Warren, “Well, what do we all know Mom is?” Warren loudly declares, “Awkward!” The counselor genuinely looks shocked at this admission and deadpans me when he says, “Awkward, really? I would never consider you awkward. I find you to be very poised and put together.” I kid you not! My mouth was no doubt hanging open as I looked behind me to make sure he wasn’t talking to someone else. He says, “No, seriously, I mean it.” I said to him, apprehensively, “Why, thank you, I don’t think anyone has ever described me as poised before.” I mean, we’re talking about a person with a psychology degree, just gave his perceived analysis of me. Maybe my stealth game is on point and I just didn’t realize it? Maybe I’m projecting a facade of calm while I feel all awkward, anxious, “hot mess” inside? No, who am I kidding, I’m starting to think he totally used reverse psychology on me. Warren, hit me up child, what do you think about all of this... or anything in general? Warren: In all seriousness, I think you are very poised, Mom. You just see yourself as awkward and therefore you feel awkward, even when you’re not. I don’t think you’re an awkward person. You just think you are because you think about it too much. Leah: Are you trying to say, if I thought about myself as being poised and put together, I’d feel as though I was perceived that way by other people as well? Warren: For example, if I take a deep breath and I think about my responses, I can say the whole sentence in a really calm manner. I’m talking to you right now in a really calm manner because I am constructing it as I go along. Leah: Why are you so smart? Stop it! No, don’t stop it, I love that you’re so smart. Warren: What can I say, I’m intellectually gifted. I can’t stop my gift. Leah: No, you’re right, you need to keep giving that gift to people as well. Maybe, you should start an advice column and call it, “Warren’s Wisdom.” Warren: I’d call it, “Warren’s Witty Wisdom.” Leah: “Wise Words from Wazza.” Warren: I like that one too, but I’m sticking with “Warren’s Witty Wisdom.” Leah: Fair enough.

The Intro

Leah: Motherhood, the biggest challenge a woman will ever face. Being a Mom comes with highs, lows, unbelievable joy, utter frustration and everything in between. Being a Medical/Special Needs Mom, whew, you have to bring your A game for this stuff. If you are new to the world of being a Medical/Special Needs Mom, whether from your child’s birth or a condition later in life, bienvenue, welcome. I’d like to be able to assure you that it will get easier, but I can’t. I can say, you will learn to adapt. You will pull strength from places within you that you didn’t even know existed, especially when you feel you’re at your weakest. You’ll think of what your child has to go through and it will bolster you. Because you watch your child face each day with strength and determination and know you must do the same for them. You will be overcome, at some point or many points, by the crushing weight of this new life. This new life, that comes with endless doctor appointments, specialist appointments, therapy appointments, surgeries/procedures, hospital stays, adaptive equipment… The list is extensive as is the stress. But, you will also experience joy and pride like you’ve never felt before. Especially when your child reaches a milestone or an accomplishment, medically or physically. Because you know just how unbelievably hard your child had to work for any milestone or accomplishment. Most importantly, you will become your child’s biggest advocate and loudest, most enthusiastic cheerleader. Welcome to the cheerleading squad! You will find, while well meaning, a lot of people will have advice for you. People that don’t understand your situation, will inevitably try to offer you parenting advice. Parenting advice that absolutely doesn’t pertain to you, your child, or your situation. People will make, not very well thought out, comments to you about your child. You have 3 options really, 1. Educate these people. 2. Pick a fight. 3. Or, smile and just walk away. Choose your battles, but, save your strength and sanity for what you have to deal with every day. You will often hear this, “I don’t know how you do it?” or “I could never do what you do.” Let me just say this, loud and clear, for everyone in the back, WHEN THIS IS THE LIFE YOU ARE GIVEN, YES, YOU CAN! We’re Moms, we pull up our big girl pants and do whatever needs to be done for our child. When we are utterly overwhelmed, we break down and cry. Then, we pick ourselves back up and keep moving forward. But, to those people that see us struggle in this life sometimes, thank you for noticing us. Thank you for noticing me. Thank you to the waitress that noticed and commended me for spending 5 minutes cutting up my son’s food and feeding him first, before I ever took a bite of my own food. Thank you to all the people that notice my strain while lifting my 12 year old “child” in or out of his car seat or in and out of his adaptive stroller and offer to help me. Thank you to the school secretary for ignoring my stressed out, scatterbrained, unkempt appearance, and praising me on how organized I am with anything to do with my son. Thank you to the dietician for applauding my efforts to lift my son’s spirits back up after he had a disparaging meltdown about the unfairness of being a wheelchair bound kid. Thank you to the therapist for noticing how my son and I interact. For noticing how special our relationship is, how we go off into our own little world while having a witty, intellectual, or silly conversation. The life of a Medical/Special Needs Mom and child can often be lonely and isolating. It feels good to know people can still see us. I’m Warren’s Mom, aka a Medical/Special Needs Mom. Warren is the smartest, sweetest, funniest, wittiest, most caring, empathetic, coolest, tech savvy kid with cerebral palsy. He is my absolute world and I love him with my everything. Welcome to an insight into our world. Some days, it might be hilarious, it might be heartbreaking other days. That’s just how we roll. Warren will be chiming in here as well, this is our joint venture. Warren: I hate being classed as, “medical” when I barely have anything wrong with me. But yet, you have a couple things on the physical side and they slap a label on you and automatically classify you as, “medical”. The weird looks, not looking at you, holding you back because they think you can’t do it, I hate all of it. But, when you try to show them that you’re just as normal as everybody else, some people won’t look. The people that do look are the people that really care. They are the people that have your back, no matter what. They make up your neighborhood, they make up your world, they make up your universe. They are your friends, your family, and the all around good people in this world. When being confronted by another kid or an adult, you have a few options. 1. You can ignore them and “walk” away. 2. You can try to educate them, (even though they probably won’t listen). 3. You can “accidentally” run over their foot with your powerchair. 4. Or, you can go on a witty rant about how they picked the wrong person to mess with and watch how shocked and confused they are about how smart you are. (This option is my personal favorite. They will probably leave you alone for good). You know, there was this little baby, who had a very slim chance of surviving when he came out. But, those doctors who reacted as quickly as they did to save this baby’s life, were incredible. You might be asking, who is this baby? I will tell you, that baby is the same witty kid sitting here, writing this story. That baby, was me. I am Warren Dunne. I am the kid that seemingly always has a smile on his face that everyone is extremely impressed by. But, the person who gave me the confidence to write this was, my Mom, Leah Dunne. She always tries to keep me in high spirits. She always tries to do everything she can to make life as fair as possible. You know, she’s always been that type of awkward person who keeps to herself. But, when you get to know her, you know that she is a really good person, and an even better Mom. I wouldn’t be here without all of the people who didn’t give up on me. But, I especially wouldn’t be here without that loving, caring Mom. My Mom, who fights tooth and nail every day to make my life as good as possible. Those are the people that you really want on your side. And boy, is my life a good one. Leah: Gah! That boy melts my heart!!!!! <3<3<3 Warren: Geez, I wouldn’t want to melt your heart, that would probably be bad. ;) Leah: Well, I don’t think we have to genuinely worry about that happening, it’s not like my heart is made of wax, or plastic… or chocolate. Warren: Okay, so we’re being smart now huh? But, then, why did you say, “melt” when your heart can’t melt? Leah: Wasn’t it better than saying you make my heart implode or something? Melting is better than imploding… Just saying. Warren: I’ve got nothing.